


home is far away

by del_invierno



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-14 15:59:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18951373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/del_invierno/pseuds/del_invierno
Summary: Honestly I don't know what to say about this fic other than if you like Konoha government or hate Sasuke just don't read it. (the title is from home is far away by epik high, it's an amazing song!)





	home is far away

**Author's Note:**

> warning: this is a long note and you can skip it if you want!
> 
> i finished naruto last week (kinda. i just watched till shippuden 479 because my best friend told me i would be MAD but she told me what's going on in Boruto™) but even if i hate a lot of things of this anime i don't know why i can't stop talking about it on my daily basis and my girlfriend yesterday told me this:
> 
> me: and konoha shuld–  
> gf: can you shut up about naruto? why don't you write your own ending and stop complaining?  
> me: are you telling me that i should write a fanfic?  
> girlfriend: i don't care anymore, just please, PLEASE stop talking about anime!!!!
> 
> so here i am.
> 
> disclaimer: i love sasuke with all my heart, i would move mountains and fight dragons for him.  
> also in my fic orochimaru is dead because i hate that bi//ch.
> 
> i wrote this for me so if you don't like it it's totally fine, i accept criticism and english isn't my first language so please, tell me if i make mistakes, i'd love to learn!

“If we could light up the room with pain,  
we’d be such a glorious fire.”  
― Ada Limon, Bright Dead Things

 

Sitting at the top of the Hokage Rock he can see the main gate of the village.  
It's been almost a year since Sasuke left and Naruto can feel that he's finally coming home today.

This year has been weird and boring, all he does is study and do missions. The highlights of his days are having dinner with Iruka and meet with Sakura and Sai, he'd like to see everyone more but they are busier now with their own lives too.

On the other side, missing Sasuke has been an aching awareness always there. It's weird how intense his absence can be when Naruto is alone at night and the world is more silent, all the memories he has of Sasuke resurface with a greater intensity then.

He felt drawn by Sasuke since they were kids, always wanting to know more about him; about the smart and passionate Sasuke, never wanting do things half way, how he can be mean but also caring when he wants to. 

Naruto knows it's lame to spent so much time wondering and remembering Sasuke now that even Sakura doesn't talk about him the way she used to but it's not like he can help it.

"Naruto" he hears Sakura voice approaching him, "what are you doing here alone?"

"Nothing" he says still looking at the gates, "just thinking."

Sakura sits beside him, "About?" then takes a look at his face and continues "Thinking about him?"

Naruto looks at her. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"So that sad face you're making looking at the gates is not because of Sasuke?"

"Of corse not, why would I be thinking about him?"

Sakura rests her head on his shoulder, "Don't worry too much, he's probably fine."

Naruto is pretty sure Sasuke is fine, at least physically and he understands that he needs to leave the village, but that doesn't mean that the void he feels in his heart when Sasuke isn't around hurts less.

"I'm not worried."

From where he's sitting he can see a couple of children laughing and playing.  
Lately Naruto feels happy and sad about everything; happy because he'll be Hokage in a couple of months and that has always been his dream, and sad because this village has many problems that he doesn't know how to fix and that make him feel like a fraud. He tries not to think too much about it. People need him, being sad is not an option; he's used to drown out his inner thoughts and pretend that everything is fine.

Iruka told him is normal to be worried when he's going to take all the weight of this place on his shoulders. Naruto shighs.

"Do you think he misses us too?" Sakura ask softly.

"I dont know. I know he cares, but he's Sasuke. I dont think that he's sitting on a rock right now thinking about us."

A couple of minutes pass in silence till Sakura ask "He's been gone for a year already, right?"

"Almost, in two weeks will be a year." Naruto says. He can feel Sakura watching him smiling. "What? I have good memory."

"Sure." Sakura gets up, "We should have a night off, just drink and get drunk."

"I don't know, lately I spend the day studying. I'm tired."

"C'mon Naruto. We need it, we've been sad for much too long."

Naruto gets up too. "Just us?"

"I'll talk to Ino and ask her if she can come. We could go to the bar near the grocery store, you know the one."

"I know."

Sakura smiles and starts to walk away. "Perfect, I'll finish training in a couple of hours. I'll see you there about nine thirty."

Before he can answer, she's gone and he already regrets it. Time ago he would be happy, but now he is tired, he just wants to go to bed soon.

The rest of the day passes quickly, Naruto approaches the Hokage's tower to return to Kakashi the book that he left him the previous day and pick up another.   
He tells him that he's going out with Sakura and Ino and Kakashi looks happy, 'Don't drink too much' he says, Naruto just rolls his eyes. 'Like you're one to talk.'

People greet him on the street and it's still a strange feeling, sometimes he still thinks he doesn't deserve it but it feels good to feel part of a group, of a community.

He's heading home to take a short shower when he feels a familiar chakra.

Naruto closes his eyes, takes a deap breath and smiles.

Sasuke is here.

He tries not to be too eager but its been too long.

When Naruto finds Sasuke all he can think is how he looks older but familiar at the same time. Sasuke's hair is longer, he wears bangs, dark circles under his eyes and a black poncho.

"Naruto." Sasuke says.

Naruto waits for him to continue talking but he doesn't "Thats all you have to say after almost a year?"

"And what do want me to say?"

Naruto takes another look at him. It's a little frustrating but if Naruto is honest with himself he gets why every girl was always talking about how good Sasuke looks.

"Your clothes are awful." he says, adding with a chuckle "I mean, a poncho, really?"

Sasuke smirks at him "Have you seen yourself? Even this is better than yours."

"You also look tired."

"I am, I've been traveling the last five days."

"Do you-" he doesn't know how to say it without making things akward "I have sake at home, do you want to go and have a drink?"

"Fine."

"Really?"

"Did you thought I was going to say no?"

"Of corse not."

When they entered at Naruto's house, Sasuke looks around and raises an eyebrow. "Your house is a mess."

"I'm not a cleaning freak like you." Naruto says while he serves the drinks and takes a seat "I don't have time to clean, I have to study."

"That's something I never thought I'd hear you say" Sasuke joins him and takes a drink. "That's a bad excuse anyway, you are just dirty."

Naruto rolls his eyes "According to Kakashi, if everything goes well, in a couple of months I can be Hokage so everything is worth it."

Sasuke's going to say something but Naruto interrupts him before, "How was to see the world?"

"It was good, it gave me perspective."

"Did you found the answers you were looking for?"

"Sometimes I think I did."

It's good to see him again, to have him here and just do normal stuff. "Did you get bored traveling alone?"

"I wasn't alone all the time, I was with Taka at first, then Karin left because she wanted to learn more about how to use her power to help others. Suigetsu and Jugoo liked the Land of Forest and decided to stay there for a while. I saw them last month."

Naruto makes a weird face "What's with that face?"

"Nothing." Naruto exhales loudly.

"That's a chidish answer."

"It's the one you are gonna get" Sasuke rolls his eyes at that but after a moment Naruto continues "I just don't trust them."

"I do." Sasuke says sure.

"Whatever. How your friendship with Karin works anyway? You almost killed her."

"I almost killed you too."

"It's not the same."

"She's okay with it," he shrugs "when we go out I have to pay all her drinks tho."

Naruto yawns and stretches "Well, now that you're back home again you can try to join the-"

"I'm not staying" Sasuke interrupts him.

Naruto feels his heart speed up "Why? Konoha is a good place to live now." 

Sasuke looks at him "Naruto, this village is the same as always."

"It's not, Kakashi is the Hokage now and then I'll be. We aren't going to allow injustices."

"You were fine with covering the murder of my clan."

"I just–I thought that it was for the best. Kakashi and even Itachi thought that too."

"I know what Itachi thinks about honor but he's not the only one who can give his opionion. Why the elders who order the massacre are free like nothing happend?" Sasuke can feel himself getting nervous and all his thoughts are coming like waves now "It's my family," he pauses to take a breath "I'm not excusing Itachi either but they used his love for the village and the power they had over him to murder all my clan. They killed everyone, even kids, even people who would have never hurt anyone of Konoha. They took everything away from me and then remained silent, if it were for them I could have end up being Anbu because you know, they don't trust Uchihas but they love to use our power when they want to."

"Sasuke, I promise you that I'll make sure that they would never use their influence like that again" he feels like he's choosing between the devil and the deep blue sea "But changing not just the Hokage but also imprison the elders after a war, it's just not the most convinient thing to do. We can't loose the stability we have now. I know is unfair but it's just not the right timing."

"There's never going to be a good timing for you. I know you, you have a good heart but you'll probably will look at the other side because it's easier that way. If they abuse their power and kill innocent people they need to pay, it's simple. Every moment they still in power you're making them think that what they did was fair." he buries his fingers in his hair and breaths "And then I'm the crazy one for wanting justice."

"You didn't wanted justice you wanted revenge, you wanted to kill innocent people."

Saauke sighs "I know, I was wrong about that, but I wasn't wrong at killing Danzo or at being angry. I'm not thristy for revenge, I just want them to held accountable."

"I'll fix it. I'd never let another person go through the things you have. I give you my word" when he looks at Sasuke, he's not looking at him "Sasuke, look at me" when he looks at him continues "Can't you give me time?"

Sasuke wants to, it would be simple to stay with Naruto and ignore everything else, trying to convice himself that in time everything would be fix and till then he can just live his own life, but that's not him. He can't just push this away, he doesn't want to forget.

"You're okay with making as if nothing happend and I'm not going to beg you anything but mass killing people isn't how things are done, wasn't that what you always told me when I wanted to burn this village to the ground? Maybe for you that argument is just valid when Konoha is the one suffering the consequences."

"It's not like that," Naruto shakes his head "don't say it like that, I just can't risk to screw the what we have now."

"Your stability is earned in blood. My clan's blood."

"I understand that you're mad but I'm also lost, I don't know how could I do this less unfair to you without compromising others people life." he shighs "If I tell them what happend they would'nt trust me and right now this people need someone to lean on. They're not bad Sasuke, I believe that Konoha is a good place, we'll fix it."

"So you won't risk the peace for this, that's the kind of lider you want to be? One that stay silent so the villagers don't get upset? I don't understand why the hell I have to convince you that love and trust can't change this. It's easy, they used their power to hurt innocent people so now they have to pay for it. Why are you always standing by their side no matter what they do?" Is always the same with Naruto and Konoha–Sasuke thinks–It's like hitting a wall. Naruto can never see the village under the same light he does "They ruined your chilhood too. You don't owe them anything."

"They were scared of me, now they aren't."

"Stop trying to justify how they treated you."

"Sasuke, I forgave them long ago."

"Well, I don't forgive that easy."

"I don't know what to tell you" he puts his hands on his head and breathes frustrated "I'm trying, Sasuke."

"But it's not dificult, the elders shoudn't be the councilors." Sasuke sighs and gets up "I'm done."

Naruto gets up too "Where are you going?"

"I'm tired of this, I don't know why I came here in the first place."

Naruto feels his frustration rising "Then what, are you going to leave again? It's been just a day.

Sasuke's already half way to the door "One day is enough."

"You're an asshole!"

"So I've been told."

"I know you don't like it here but can't you stay at least for a week?"

"Why do you care so much? Why it's so important to you that I stay here?"

"I just care about you. I think there's more life for you that just travel alone. We could start over."

"You don't have to worry about me anymore. I'm tired of being a burden, I'm not yours to protect, I'm mine and I choose to be away from here."

"You're not a burden, Sasuke. I know you can protect yourself but–I don't know how to explain it but everytime I imagine you sad and alone wandering thought the world–" he doesn't know what else to say. After everything that happend all he wants it's for Sasuke to be happy, to have a good life. He wants to spend time together, to train and laught as friends. He thought everything would be easier now but it dosen't feel like that.

"I'm not sad. I choose to be alone."

"But are you happy? You don't have to isolate yourself, there's no need to be alone."

"I want to." It's frustating to talk to Naruto, he's always pushing, making Sasuke feel things he doesn't want to feel; making him feel like he matters. "Don't be so obsessed with me, it's annoying. What part of I hate this place you don't understand?"

Naruto's upset and even if part of him just wants to fix this conversation before it's too late, maybe Sakura's right when she calls him hot headed and thats why he answers "If you hate us so much then don't come back again."

He shouldn't have said it because it's not true and when he sees the pain in Sasuke's eyes, he knows he messed up.

Sasuke looks at him and everything is too much but in Naruto's eyes there's a challenge, and he doesn't back off from a challenge so he says "Don't worry. I won't"

Naruto stays where he is while Sasuke leaves. He feels like if someone punched him on the guts. While he takes a sit again in the chair and the silence weights on his shoulders he wonders if he should follow Sasuke and ask him to stay but the already knows the answer. Sasuke's free and he doesn't want to force him to stay in a place he doesn't want to be but he wants things to be different. 

That night Naruto goes to bed wanting to cry and feeling like and idiot for doing so.  
None of this is Sasuke's fault and he can't blame Konoha because right now he needs to hold on to something and the village and his dream of being Hokage were always a lifesaver when he felt alone, so he doesn't know where to put all this feelings.

He's not angry anymore, is mostly this draining longing for Sasuke, since always and probably till forever. He'll always want more. Trying to explain what more means is pointless; all he knows is that at some point their hearts must have intertwined, that's the only explanation he has for this pain, cutting him deeper than a knife, everytime Sasuke suffers.

If they had never met, if they hadn't been friends at all or if Naruto had lost him...he's not really sure who he'd be right now.

With his head on the pillow Naruto feels traitors tears running down his cheeks.

"Fuck."

He rubs his eyes and repeats in his head the conversation with Sasuke for the tenth time since he left.

He can't stop thinking in Sasuke's eyes and how he's right about what he said. He doesn't want to be a lider who lies, a lider who hides brutal deaths of innocent people.

He just wanted to be Hokage to help the village and feel usefull so the people would see him as a brave and strong shinobi capable to protect them all but right now he feels lost because he doesn't know what he's doing half of the time. Maybe all this politics are too much for him.

Naruto turns around in his bed and breaths deeply. He can think all this in the morning, right now he's drained.

**Author's Note:**

> if you read all this long and poor wrote chapter i apologize. i'm just a 21 years old girl with no talent ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ in my head this fic was so much better lol  
> this is my first fic and the first time i use ao3 in more that a year so i'm guesing this is probably the most boring naruto fanfic ever. btw can you rec me good fics? right now i only have instagram and i don't know where i can scream about this stupid show, should i make twitter or no one talks about it there?  
> thank you for reading and leave a coment if you want!


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